


How To Be A Mutant

by NaughtyBees



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Bit of Danse character development, Deacons disguises, Gen, Graphic descriptions of super mutant armpit odours, How Do I Tag, MacCready is whiny in this one, Super Mutants, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 18:56:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14385003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaughtyBees/pseuds/NaughtyBees
Summary: Deacon wants Strong to teach him how to be a super mutant for his next disguise.





	How To Be A Mutant

It was the late afternoon and the sun was cracking the already well worn stone flags at the Starlight Drive-In. Nobody was working. The mutfruit trees wilted in the baking heat and settlers sat in minimal clothing, drinking nukas and fanning themselves.  
Dogmeat was laid in the shade, tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth, his ears drooping. He leant over to a bowl of water every now and then, lapping at it lazily. 

Hancock smelled a lot better in the heat than he did in the rain which was more than could be said for Valentine whose oily, plastic, burnt wire smell got stronger as the sun melted a little of his bodywork, prompting him to stay in the shade. The two sat beside the bar beneath an umbrella, playing poker. So far, Nick had won all of Hancock's caps, his psycho and his pants. The ghoul blamed it on the synth's ability to remain completely deadpan. 

Danse seemed to not want to stay still, even in the heat. He had pulled his old brotherhood uniform down so it wasn't covering his top half and was fixing a loose connection in his power armour, his muscular body filthy with oil and dirt.  
Piper, Cait and Preston sat watching, sipping cold drinks and talking about how Danse should take his top off more often. They'd cheer and whistle whenever Danse lifted anything that made his taut muscles ripple, the ex-soldier seeming oblivious to their stares. 

MacCready was laid in a puddle, just shorts on, groaning loudly. He hated the heat and wanted everyone to know it. He gasped with relief as another bathtub of lake water was poured over him by Strong whom MacCready had told to help him.  
Strong was disgustingly smelly normally, but this really took the cake. Mutant sweat, rotten meat and unwashed skin... he smelled like a piece of mouldy cheese floating in a stagnant pond. 

Deacon walked past, sniffing dramatically before he pretended to follow his nose to where Strong was. "Ah! Just the guy I wanted to see!" He smiled, in casual clothes for today. "Strong, buddy ole' pal! I need a favour."

Strong seemed to be confused for a moment before jabbing a green finger towards MacCready. "Mack Ree Dee make Strong fetch water. Strong get water for friend."

"Mac Doodle is a big boy, he can cool off by himself!" Deacon ignored the 'no he can't' from the man laying by his feet and nudged Strong. "Come on, it'll be fun, I promise." 

Strong thought a moment. A minute. Two minutes. The cogs in his brain were grinding along, the rust squeaking and making smoke billow from his ears. Eventually, he gave a concise nod and started to follow Deacon. 

"Now, my big, green friend... I am very good at disguises. Nobody knows I'm there until I catch them with their dick out." He stopped beside a rusty car, leaning against it. "The one thing I haven't tried to be is a super mutant. So that's what I need from you."

Strong frowned, thinking deeply, taking a moment before it clicked, his face lighting up. "Human want Strong to teach how to be super mutant?!"

"My explanation hasn't fooled you then?"

"Strong will teach!" The huge, green monster roared, his grin spreading from ear to ear. "Human not even look like human when finish! Strong make puny human not so puny!"

Deacon grinned, standing straight. "Whatever you want, big guy!" He pulled his shirt off, throwing it to the side, flexing his arms. "I'm already almost as strong as a mutant."

Strong chuckled a little. "Human look like toothpick." He smiled and reached into his pocket, pulling out a hunk of slightly decaying meat. He thrust it at Deacon. "Human need get strong! Eat and do strong things!"

Deacon frowned a little, holding the meat in two fingers. "Mmm... looks yummy... this is totally on my menu when I make my own cooking show." He tossed the meat to the german shepherd laying a little way away and wiped his hands on his jeans. "So, you show me what to do."

Strong nodded and stepped forward, grasping the rusted car with his colossal hands, heaving it above his head and growling as he threw it into a tree.  
Deacon paused for a moment before looking around. He found a car tyre and copied Strong's vocals, roaring as he threw the tyre a few meters away. He looked proud with himself as he turned to Strong who didn't look too impressed. His face had 'stupid puny humans' written all over it.

For the next half hour, Deacon had Strong walking around so he could copy his movements. The slow, lumbering walk with arms barely moving and the waddle of having more muscle than brain. The occasional confused head scratch and questioning grunt.  
Deacon learnt how to speak like Strong, his voice deep, growling and very stupid sounding. He was a very fast learner and soon managed to pick up on mannerisms. He noticed right away that Strong had no shame. He would belch, fart, scratch and pick his nose, not caring who saw. Deacon followed suit, being as disgusting as he could be. 

Strong soon turned to Deacon, handing him a sledge hammer. "Brothers share with brothers. Brothers use hammer to smash! You smash."

"I smash." Deacon repeated with a smile. He aimed for a sheet of corrugated iron, roaring loudly. "DEACON CRUSH BUILDING MATERIALS!" He yelled as he brought the hammer down on the metal, denting it quite a bit. He grinned, looking at Strong. "This is kinda fun! I feel like we're totally bonding."

Strong gave Deacon a friendly pat on the back, sending him falling forward. "Strong make human into perfect mutant!"

Deacon smirked. "We need a team name. How about... ooh! Mean Green Team. Rhymes and very true. Perfect." He pulled a bag towards himself, pulling out a green spray can. "Found this in a costume store basement. I get a few of my disguises from there. Shh! Don't tell anyone." Deacon began to spray his skin, the dirty peach becoming green. He stopped when he thought he was pretty covered. It didn't take long to dry and by then, Deacon had already fashioned himself some pretty good mutant armour. He then sidled over to Strong. "Alright. All I need now is the awful stench! C'mere, big guy!" Deacon tugged Strong so he was bent down a little before he lifted his arm, using the putrid, almost acidic residue lingering within the mutant's pits as a kind of cologne. He rubbed it where it mattered, coughing a few times at the pungent odour. "Eau de pittstink. This should make me smell a bit more like you." He grimaced, wiping his hands on a rag. 

Strong looked down at Deacon. "Hm. Human not fool anyone like that!" He grunted. "Need more training!"

Deacon grinned. "Nah, I got it! Watch." He stretched before he got into character, letting his neck click. He then started lumbering around in circles, scratching his head every now and then. "Deacon smash puny humans! Crush and eat flesh! Put tiny mutant dick into meat bag!" He gave Strong a shove. It was like trying to shove a brick wall. "Brother Strong take Deacon to mutants! Deacon fool mutants!" He gave a little grin, enjoying this more than he should have been doing. "Puny humans blah blah crush blah blah… pretty good, eh?”

“Pff, yeah, if you want to be mutant food.” MacCready called from his puddle of self pity. “Can I have my guy back? My water is too warm!” When Deacon said he needed Strong a little longer, MacCready whined, kicking his legs and splashing in a miniature temper tantrum. 

Danse walked past, wiping his oily hands on a rag, a bushy eyebrow quirked at Deacon. “Your cover is going to be blown immediately. You don't have the muscle mass to be a mutant. I, on the other hand, would be very convincing if I wished to degrade myself.”

Deacon grinned at Danse, flexing his noodle arms. “I'm perfect! My cover story will make up for it.” He cleared his throat. “Humans make Deacon, Deacon not as strong as other brothers but soon be behemoth! Deacon have meat to share!” He adjusted his dirty loin cloth. “I've just gotta be dumb, angry and communist. Piece of cake.”

Danse shook his head, rolling his eyes. “They're going to chew you up and spit you back out.” He gave Strong a nudge in the ribs. “Try not to let him get killed.”  
Since the Brotherhood had exiled him, Danse had been slowly learning to accept more people. He, of course, started with gen 3 synths. It was pretty easy when Curie was always fussing over him, excited that she found some unicorn bandages for every tiny cut he had. He didn't have the heart to tell her he could survive without them because she looked so happy. Valentine was the next easiest to befriend. Two synths, both having their entire lives ripped from them, both spending sleepless nights wondering about the past. Nick had gone through it all and more so he happily told Danse everything he needed to hear. Hancock was a little harder to get along with. The ghoul was so different to Danse, especially since Hancock was always high on a pretty big concoction of chems and Danse had never had anything stronger than Gwinett Stout. Still, Danse made an effort and was eventually rewarded when Hancock bought him a beer at the settlement bar, the two of them getting drunk and swapping stories. Danse still didn't really like Hancock but at least he didn't hate him. Then there was Strong. After what happened with Cutler, there was nothing he hated more than mutants. However, Strong was a big part of the settlement. Raider attack? Strong would be there, chewing on their remains. Need something heavy moved? Get the mutant. Need someone to pour water over you because you're a manchild who can't stand a little sun? He'd do it without complaining.  
Danse had tried to get on Strong’s good side. That was hard. Simply sharing meat wasn't enough to tip the scales. He watched MacCready, how Strong hung on his every word, lumbering after him like a huge, green duckling. How he did it, he'd never know. 

“I'll be fine!” Deacon assured Danse, knowing the man still thought him worthy of death for his faction choice. “Strong will keep me safe, won't you, big guy?” 

Strong didn't reply. 

oOo

The stifling heat was making others not want to fight too. Raiders sat drinking cool beer, not chasing after random people, rather firing off a shot if it meant they didn't have to move. Otherwise they were still, sweating and whining to each other.  
The super mutants were feeling the heat too, chewing on meat and bones as mutant hounds panted at their feet, tongues lolling from their mouths. 

“Here's the plan.” Deacon smiled at Strong who still didn't look convinced that this would work. “We go in, I spin my story and offer them some loot. If they believe it, great! If they don't… just grab me and run. ‘kay?” 

“Strong think tiny human be eaten soon.”

Deacon gave Strong a thumbs up before they both lumbered toward the super mutants, Deacon pretending his arms and legs were heavy with weights. 

“Krug think Thud not have best weapon!” 

“Thud have best weapon for smashing Krug! Rocket hammer better than minigun!” 

“Thud and Krug no match for Stomp’s mini nuke! Will blow up many enemies!”

As Strong rounded the corner with Deacon in tow, the mutants all looked at the human with confusion. The hounds didn't see anything wrong, smelling mutant and nothing else so they didn't bark. Walking boldly to where the three were sat, Deacon dropped a heavy meat bag down and loudly announced in his best mutant voice “Have lots of meat for sharing with brothers!”

One mutant sat up, looking close at Deacon, frowning. “...Thud think brother look like human.”

Deacon put on his best offended face. “WILL SMASH FOR THAT!” 

Strong put a large hand on Deacon’s shoulder, shoving him away. “Strong make reject brother stronger. Made very puny but soon be bigger!”

Thud smiled. “Strong.” The other mutant flexed, showing his name origin. “Thud!” Thud cried, making a smashing motion with his fist. 

“Stomp.” Said Stomp, using both feet to hammer the ground. 

“Krug not have action for name… But Krug have minigun!” The final mutant grinned at strong, the mutants broken from their introductions when Deacon sidled over. “What this mutant name?” Asked Krug, not sounding entirely convinced. 

Deacon froze up. He needed a mutant name and he hadn't planned for it. He needed something quick and easy to say. “Uh… My name… Fuck!” He cried in a panic. 

Startled, Thud looked at him. “Not want to know how got that name.”

Deacon, or Fuck now, looked at Strong to see the mutant’s head in his hands. He laughed and sat down, passing his meat bag to the other mutants. “Fuck wondering if brothers help Fuck become behemoth! Get big and strong to SMASH humans!” 

Krug took some meat, chewing it with an open mouth. “Krug think Fuck need lift some heavy stuff. Get muscles!” 

Deacon flexed, trying his hardest to look big. “Fuck been lifting lots of stuff… Been doing aerobics too. Karate, a little kettleball training, jazzercise.” He looked at Strong who seemed a little left out and he smiled at him. “Say, have you brothers ever heard of the milk of human kindness?” 

Strong perked up and the other mutants looked confused. “No. What that?” Asked Thud, tilting his head. 

Leaning forward, taking care to let out a fart he was holding to seem more authentic, Deacon smiled at the mutants. “Its a drink that makes super mutants unstoppable. Strong and Fuck have been looking for it for months.”

Stomp laughed. “That not exist!” 

“Oh, really? Well, our friend Klunk drank some, became twice as big as a behemoth.”  
The three mutants gasped, all mumbling their approval. Deacon continues. “Fuck and Strong have been living with humans to see if they have it. Have to be nice to the humans or they won't give it over. If you threaten, they won't tell you where it is.” The mutants seemed less excited about that but understanding. “Anyway, any of you brothers want to help Fuck?” 

oOo 

MacCready hated being on lookout duty in this heat. The boss had constructed a sniper tower on top of the taller part of the projection building and it was stiflingly hot inside. He felt like a puppy in a car, panting and sweating, his clothes rubbing on his sunburn. He spotted some super mutants through his scope and tensed, taking the safety off and getting ready to snipe them. However, he spotted Deacon’s stupid disguise, along with Strong, watching as Deacon sat on one of the strange mutie’s shoulders. 

As they got closer, it seemed that everyone was tense, wondering why Deacon would bring three mutants to the settlement. He hopped down once he was close, holding up his hands. “Don't shoot! These are some friends I picked up.” He smiled at the gathering crowd of Sole’s entourage, gesturing to each mutant. “This is Thud, Stomp and Krug.”

MacCready was cautious as he walked closer, seeing how the three mutants were barely restraining themselves but he smiled. “Hey. You guys look pretty strong. I bet you can lift massive baths of water, right?”

As MacCready took the mutants into the settlement, Deacon passed Danse who was sporting a glare hard enough to cut sheet metal. Deacon pulled his sunglasses down his nose and gave him finger guns and a wink, trotting after his new, green friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Want to help me write more? Please consider donating to my ko-fi! You can request mini fics with each donation that I'll post to my tumblr!  
> ko-fi.com/kingjames


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